I just got a call back from Associate Dean Fischer at Ringling. If there are any well-wishers in the crowd, my campus tour is Friday at 3pm. Wish me well! I intend to reprise Greg's recap as my gift in return. You lucky dogs you. I'm also getting Ringling clothes while I'm there. What could it hurt to surround myself with the school's loving energies?
I'm pretty anxious though. Many places I could walk right in without question, but I both appreciate and am terrified of the standards I'm up against.
When I was at Edinboro in Pennsylvania my cystic fibrosis got vicious. I lived near Philadelphia at the time and moving to Erie was an unexpected climate change. No medicine refills for the first month and by then it was already cold enough for lake-effect snow. I don't deal well with season changes as it makes habitats for the bugs I get in my lungs. I dropped to about 124 lbs (I stand 6'2") and before I left I'd missed so many classes I only walked away with two grades I could be proud of.
Fortunately I spent the next 42 credits at community college back home doing lib arts and a few studios and the longer I was there the better I performed. Now the majority of my grades stand as As and Bs. I guess my big thing is I would never in a million years try to tell a school "Oh, here's what you need to understand about these failures. You know, they were actually such and suches beforehand!" Their concern is not how things happened but -that- they did, and as they politely review the record I have to take responsibility for them -as if- I'd earned them. It's rough, because really you have to make a conscious anti-effort to fail a course, and that's not me. I'm a leader. I always do well in school (the only two classes I missed since were family things) and now I'm in Florida where there's virtually no season change!
In high school I had an 84-ish average I believe and a 1310 on my SATs of which I'm very proud. I just can't shake the feeling that the whole experience is a skeleton in my closet. I tell myself "Yes, those were icky, but many freshman aren't so hot their first semester, they'll likely think that was the case for me." The two classes I passed were more lenient and each professor allowed me make up one test. The gap between grades looks darkly hilarious though, and when you're banking on a school that accepts only the best, from around the world, above-average doesn't always float, especially with a stain like that.
I -am-, though, confident in my artistic abilities because there is most certainly talent there, and with it the potential to go elsewhere and excel. Plus I'm going to personally bring my last few submissions, which are much looser anatomy studies of the -same- sex and painted. I have a very well-written concise essay, and even though they don't factor in/evaluate these tours like an interview, something has to be said for character (AKA it'll make -me- feel better).
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. It's not like it's a pretext or a subterfuge, but I can't very well say it Friday so I might as well say it now among friends and not kill myself with the anxiety. I'm really self-critical sometimes. =)
God Bless,
Vincent John Florio
Thanks a billion!
With all the school I have behind me, I might be able to eliminate about a year of classes just like you. Just think...Vincent and Greg, Hett and Scattered, the new Ringling Bros.
I told a relative about your story and your wife's devotion to this ambition we share and she actually welled up =) Knowing where your abilities lie, and how badly you want this, I really sincerely hope that you get accepted.
It occured to me, by the way, that even though I won't tell them about the grades, and even though I will never be that sick again in my life till I die (which is at least 15 years off), I should ask the school about the health services there. Before I even went to Edinboro we talked to the Office for Students with Disabilities and they said I didn't count as a disability. Whether that's because I appear to be normal, or they wanted to keep the "we have the 3rd best handicap access in the U.S." for those in wheelchairs very literal is beyond me. When they actually told me to stop attending the classes because of my absences, it infuriated me because I still wanted to learn and went to higher-ups because I thought that was ridiculous. Their answer? "Well you should've signed up with the Office for Students with Disabilities. Can't do anything for ya now!" Go figure.
Luckily, every experience with this school displays to me that they actually use the gift of reason. Like I said, the CF is a non-issue for them, but it's always nice to know there are real live people instead of mech-drones running the place.
Just read the red words. I do every day.
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that has been given to us." ---Gandalf
Pretty convenient that your arrow forms only the happiest smiley face I've ever seen!
Good Luck! Scattered. I had no idea you suffered from CF. That's a real bummer, and makes "Follow Your Bliss" even more meaningful for you. It's a shame your school didn't take into consideration your condition.
I've known a couple other CFers. But not for as long as I would have liked. You're an inspiration. I am routing for you. And waiting to hear a recounting of your visit.
Pat
Pat Hacker, Visit Scooter's World.
Best of luck, sorry I'll miss you but I won't be on campus tomorrow.
Let us know how it goes.
ed
Department of Computer Animation
Ringling College of Art and Design
Sarasota Florida
Aw shucks, I was looking forward to meeting you and busting out the caricature skills. It's a good thing I made a back-up character design in the event this might happen. I appreciate your wishing of wells everyone.
Pat, I was upset for about a week, because I felt discriminated against, but that's about it. I figure if they wanna make my life about my death, that's their prerogative; they have the authority. Is it entirely fair that real people's futures are affected by such changes? Not really, but guess what? Best thing that ever happened to me. Not the sick part, that's pretty much a milestone I'd like to forget, I mean leaving that school. Now I get to be healthy again and have a chance at going to a dream school where the environment seems custom built for people like me who've busted arse their whole life to be among true intellectual and artistic peers. I shudder to think where my career potential might be if I'd stayed there.
If you want inspiration, or just something to stew over, get this: Cystic fibrosis is a blessing! I've never known anything else, so I might be biased, but every single day that I'm not paying attention to it subconsciously it's having an effect on my whole perspective on life itself. You ever hear that quip about asking a one-legged man for directions because he'll know the easiest way to get anywhere? Well you can ask me what can be appreciated out of ANYTHING, because it's what I do. I don't sit there thinking "OH jeez, tomorrow I could die, how will I sleep?" but I do keep a distant remembrance for when it's necessary that odds are I'm already middle-aged at 20. Given that, imagine what a thick and interesting life I've been granted because I'm pre-programmed for rose-smelling whenever I happen to stop. There are strange side effects. Because I was ill I spent a lot of time crawling. Moreso than usual. Now they say the longer you crawl the smarter the kid can be because it's less about moving about and more about experiencing and satisfying idle curiousities. Now I'm one of the smartest people I -- or anyone around me, usually -- knows. Definitely there are people who know more facts about certain things, but in how information is processed without a second thought I am a total analysis machine. You learn a lot about love and attachment...and letting go and loss. It's hard to keep friends but I'd die for the ones I get to keep.
Don't worry about me though. When I was diagnosed, I was placed in a counseling group (I was born at the west coast military airlift command, so read: guinea pig group) with 17 other kids. The top genetic killer, yes, but there are only 30-40 thousand U.S. cases at any given time. 17 other kids. Every single one of them is -gone-. Our neighbor lost his sister a few years back. It's rough and it's horrifying. So we're doing something right =) If it's possible perhaps I have a more mild case. My folks asked me if I wanted to be the kid who lived till 10 and watched the other kids play football out the back window, or the kid who lived till 7 and was out there playing with them. I chose quality of life, and I hope that as much as they could your friends experienced that.
Thanks for the kind words, and I totally agree. Life is for living, and I'm following my bliss by choosing this school, and I will go there and be so stellar health won't be a question. If I'm not the next Walt I'm all for surpassing it, because the way I see it even if I have ridiculously high ambitions, when reality sets in it's nicer to be half of ridiculous than half of normal. I have the drive and determination to keep the steps along the journey sane, and I intend to do just that. (Isn't my naive enthusiasm just adorable?)
In short, my life is about my -life-.
By the by, apparently we're staying in the area till Sat night so far as I know so that's when you'll be able to read the aforementioned recap.
Hey Scattered you don't have to be about anything but who you are...that's the important thing.
I am glad you are focussed on that. I am in your corner if you ever need me.
Pat
Pat Hacker, Visit Scooter's World.
I say go play football, climb trees, it doesn't matter. Good luck Scattered. And anyone else that is following their dream. Like Nike says...Just do it!
Pat Hacker, Visit Scooter's World.
GO SCATTER!!!!!!!!!!
I hope your trip goes excellent. You will be very impressed. Report back when you get finished.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that has been given to us." ---Gandalf