it's happened. i've just about had it with where i am in animation. unlike alot of people who complain about the industry that they cannot get a job, i am a well paid lead animator in a pretty big studio producing a big t.v. show for a major network... and i really want to walk away from it. now before you all start with the 'you don't know how lucky you are' lament, let me just say that i adore animation. but i'm going crazy producing this hyper-commercial, t.v., hair-pullingly tight deadlined, non-imput type animation. i'd love to do something else in animation, but i have no idea what or other areas there is in animation other than t.v. or film. i want to be challenged, but artistically, not putting my health and sanity to the test. has anyone else found themselves in this prediciment or has anyone actually walked away from a position like this that thousands would chop off their left hand for?
animation crossroads
By derickvonfuscho | Monday, December 11, 2006 at 10:20am
#1
animation crossroads
Have you worked on personal projects just for your own satisfaction?
I've bailed on jobs before that others were standing in line for. Not Animation though. But I reached a point where I just didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. It just wasn't worth it anymore.
I totally went another direction from my previous occupation, into horticulture, and even though I was working harder physically than I'd ever worked before, those were the most fantastic/satisfying years of my life.
Can't do it anymore, but sh*t I'll never regret the leap!
Pat Hacker, Visit Scooter's World.
Sometimes I get to do what I want. Most times I do what I have to. There are very few projects that I have worked on over the years that I feel were something that I could be proud of but that's OK. There are enough of them to have made it worth while.
I try and put enough money aside every year to go to an animation festival or something like Comic Con. I've even gone to the odd science fiction convention. Geeky yes but you can be amazed at how many different creative people shower these events. I find them a great way to re-charge the creative batteries.
I also try and find time to work on my own things. They will most likey never have an audience but they can satisfy my need to challenge myself.
Yes, I have walked away from what some might see as a good job and have not regretted it. I have also stayed in jobs that many people would consider crazy and there are days where I would like to chuck it all in. But then I think to myself, this really isn't hard work. Hard work is running a day care or cutting open a patient on the operating table or hanging drywall. It can be stressful but at least I have little chance of loosing a finger or killing a patient.
Oh well back to the operating room I call my desk!
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. My Blog: Strange Thoughts
It totally depends on you Derick. Is there something you've always wanted to do outside of animation? If so maybe something is telling you it's time to take the chance.
Like Robert said, perhaps you can make this job fund something that means more to you, and in that way it's not such a drag down.
In the end you have to make the decision. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.
Pat Hacker, Visit Scooter's World.
Bruthahs, what week is it?
Oh, its been a quiet one, I'm still in.
I have a real love-hate relationship going on with this biz. Some folks might find that surprising coming from me, but I have literally walked away from it about 3 or 4 times over 20 plus year now, swore it off, turned my back, vowed "never, never again".
I'm still doing it.
I look at my wife's job and realize I've got it easy and always have.
I've got a 3-4 offers on the table right now and if I wanted to, I could pick and choose. Sure, that sounds like I'm indifferent when others are desperate, but I am tired.
Everytime I set out to start a personal project, the phone rings with more work.
Everytime, without fail.
So much so that when I need work, need to pay some bills, I start or re-start a personal project and yes, the phone rings. More work.
God must have put cameras in my house.....its that damn uncanny.
I've worked on a lot of stuff--good and bad and in between. Its not my life though, its my livelihood-a distinction I made years ago.
The stuff I do isn't "my baby" so my vested emotion in it is very low. Its work to be done and get paid for.
The real passions are my hobbies--that's what I save life for.
Like Derick said, there's been nothing worth sacrificing life and sanity for--and I have sacrificed both too much and far too often, mostly out of being naive and stupid.
Deadlines are servicing other peoples needs, what about OUR deadlines?
I used to teach, loved it long time--re-ignited my passions for the craft, but that too dwindled over time.
I realized I wasn't giving it its due and "retired" from teaching back in March.
I look back and its for good now, I have zero interest in returning to that fold.
Some people have called me jaded.........bitter, and I suppose there's some of that in there. My excuse out of that is that if I truly was jaded/bitter, I'd never bother with sharing in forums like this.
Realistically, given a chance to do something fun for bottom rate and something lame for top, I'd lean towards the fun stuff if I didn't have a lot of bills. Heck, with two incomes in my family, I'd do the fun stuff anyway, just for gits and shiggles.
Still, I have bills at the moment, and there's work and deadlines to tackle.
I bitch and moan, but once this is done, I'll see if I can set aside time for myself.
My advice to Derick:
Do something for fun.
Redefine yourself.
If you can afford a pay hit, take a chance.
Teach, if you are so inclined.
Do something you can look back on--doing something that paid a lot of money, but was creatively empty is nothing to look back on. Money is transitory, memories are not.
Move your home, get a hobby, take up a sport or diversionary class.
The greatest thought I've ever heard, the one that stuck with me the most is that once I die and home-run slide up to the Pearly Gates, St. Peter isn't going to give a rat's ass if I met all my deadlines or what shows I worked on.
"We all grow older, we do not have to grow up"--Archie Goodwin ( 1937-1998)
I too struggle with love-the-artform-hate-the-business.
But much of it is due to trying to balance my life...no one's or no thing's fault really. Less of my attitude is about hyper-competitive nature where young and fast are valued over experience. Animation is not accomodating for those who want to be home by 7:30pm for our personal lives.
But if I were you I would not quit....at least not until an end of a project...or until another opportuntity (doesn't have to be animation) is in place. That's what I would do if I could get back on that horse.
This is just a little brain storming but what about finding a Canadian project? There is also documentary that are being funded by our government, Public television has someone doing all of their animation. You could pitch your self to a major publisher of text books, the CD's that come with those are really lame.
I often find myself in the same boat as you Derick, and as a TV animator I know exactly how you feel. I know the whole, faster, cheaper, better mentality. It can really get to you, and beat you down. What I like to do is, from the scenes I'm assigned, pick one or two that looks really fun and you can really express, and push yourself with. Put all your time and effort into those one or two shots, then crank through the others. That way I'm always proud of something I did.
It really sounds like you're burnt out, which happens to all of us. Talk to your director, and ask for some time off. A couple months if you can afford it. Then just play. If you feel like vegging out for a week or two, do it. Don't beat yourself up for it. Then start doing other things you love that isn't art related. Give your mind some time to recoup and recharge. When you go back you'll be much better for the time off.
I hope things work out for you.
Aloha,
the Ape
...we must all face a choice, between what is right... and what is easy."
Don't know if this will help, since I'm headed in the opposite direction. I'm bored and tired of my current job, marketing/graphic design and hope to work in the animation field. I'm in school and hope to finish in May. Who knows where it will lead ... but ...
Over the last few months I've really had it with work so I started planning my exit. Discussing it with my husband, reviewing finances, made an appointment with my accountant to go over things like 401K roll overs, etc.. Really getting my ducks in a row knowing I'll be making a move. Not sure when, or where, but I'll be ready when the right opportunity comes.
And just that little bit of planning was liberating. And work has become bearable, I've actually pushed the creativity envelope with positive results and will continue to do so. Because I know I'll be leaving.
And the truth is, even if I stay in my safe, corporate job with a 10 minute commute and decide to make independent shorts for the next 10 or 20 years, thats OK, too.
Basically, give yourself an out. Work and life seem so much better when you don't feel trapped.
Hello.
My saying is...and I tell students this... and my own three children (24, 25,25 years)...
If you are not happy - then you are doing someone elses job!!!!
My experience is that jobs run in 3-5 year cycles....expect that. if you are creative (as most artists are)...you have to find a way to feed yourself- artistically.
Have fun or find a way to keep it fun...
Larry
web site
http://tooninst[URL=http://tooninstitute.awn.com]itute.awn.com
[/URL]blog:
[U]http://www.awm.com/blogs/always-animated
[/U] email:
larry.lauria@gmail.com
I think it's dangerous to evaluate a job based on how many others would want it.
I say work on your own project to challenge yourself, and you should just jump into it. You'll never be ready and there will always be something else that demands your time, but you'll never make anything if you don't at least start. And unless you're willing to forego the luxuries of an enclosed living space, electricity, and food, there will always be bills to pay. So find the time to work on your own stuff.
I read this interview not too long ago with animator Moon Seun. She left her 6-figure job at DreamWorks to pursue her own projects. I'm not suggesting that you leave your job, but you may find it to be an interesting read:
http://www.simplisticpictures.com/press/3D_world.htm
Sharvonique Studios
www.sharvonique.com
Animated By Sharvonique Blog
http://sharvonique.animationblogspot.com
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I took that more as "Doubts are one thing, but if you're having a serious crisis of passion, give it up and go find what WILL make you feel fulfilled, and in the meantime stop taking up space that someone else would gladly fill that -will- enjoy the position in the same way you will your future endeavor when you find it."
thanks for all the advice. ScatteredLogical, i see what you mean but i do appreciate working on such a big project. i love animating and would be thrilled doing it 24/7. the problem is, i've excelled at it and have been put in more lead/supervisory positions so i have significantly less time to animate and more time..well, babysitting! luckily i am producing a short at the moment and that's keeping me sane. i have looked to teaching aswell. i think i'd relish giving back my experience and findings to students as i'd be energetic as apposed to alot of apathetic tutors in those positions today and i think my near - decade of experience would serve me well. thanks again
You know, if you are a supervisor you are already a teacher. Animation and film making in general is one of the last great places that someone can be an aprentice and really learn from those with more experience. Maybe if you view your job as part teacher it would help?
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. My Blog: Strange Thoughts
You don't have to accept those lead/supervisory positions. I know; we're all supposed to strive to reach "the next level", but sometimes that level isn't for us for any number of reasons. If you truly enjoy animating and would rather do more of it, then turn down the supervisory roles in favor of one that gives you more board time. Of course, there are consequences to that as well (lower pay, etc), but nothing is without cost.
I was actually just directing that at Sharvonique's thing...
oh yeah, sorry! :o . thanks to all y'all for the advice. animated ape - i understand you work on Foster's. how does it break down in there in terms of the duties for a supervisor/lead and a regular animator. that is of course, if you're allowed spill the beans!
I completely agree!
Sharvonique Studios
www.sharvonique.com
Animated By Sharvonique Blog
http://sharvonique.animationblogspot.com
AWN Showcase Gallery